Scared to have sex after rape

Anonymous asked: Is it normal for me to feel self hate when I think of sex, even consensual sex? I think the only way I could have sex at this point is if I self harmed the whole time. Is that wrong? God I just can’t stop crying. It’s been years and I’m still crying


That’s completely understandable! The first thing to do before you even consider starting sex, is make sure that it’s something you really enjoy and something you’re doing to please yourself, not just your partner. If you’re crying, that may be an indication that you aren’t really ready for sex, and that’s fine!

Sex proves nothing about you - it’s there for your fun and pleasure and unless/until it becomes something you can ease into gradually and enjoy, there’s no reason you should do it. If you’re only comfortable with kissing, that’s fine. If oral is okay, but intercourse is not, that’s a great choice, too. Your only job is to tell your partner the truth about what you need and make sure you find a partner who respects that, no matter how long it takes. 

Fantastic question and I wish you all the healing and recovery in the world at your own pace. <3