July 2012
120 posts
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June 2012
143 posts
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"No rape culture allowed! (Except for in MY...
thelistlesslighthouse:
I’m tired of people claiming they’re opposed to rape culture and abuse when it requires absolutely nothing out of them, but then defending the rapist and those who harass victims because “Oh, this case is different. The victim is a crazy bitch who is lying for attention THIS TIME. I’d defend REAL victims, but this girl is lying because this guy is my friend and he’d...
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Why would anyone rape? Here's why:
papayalily:
“Obviously there are a lot of kinds of rapists, but at the bottom rape is something in which someone disregards the rights and feelings of other human beings for their own gain. We have a lot of that in our society. A mugger on the subway, a robber-baron on Wall Street, the casual cruelty of a sweat shop owner, the cop who gives a mouthy kid a tune up, a guy who goes to a massage...
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Flashbacks.
trerochell:
I’m really upset right now. FUCK. Why now?
It’s funny how someone who rapes you will never be as effected by it as you.
It’s not fair.
I want them to feel how I feel every minute of every day.
I want them to know how their words made me feel and how they repeat in my head every night, and I want them to feel hands all over their body, hurting them, as they wake up from...
I don't think anyone who hasn't been abused will...
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Predator Theory: Rape - Who? When? Why? →
Some important facts about rape and rapists that everyone should know. Helps when proving a point or standing up for yourself against rape culture.
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“PTSD AWARENESS DAY today! - post traumatic stress disorder (otherwise called...”
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Scared to have sex after rape
Anonymous asked: Is it normal for me to feel self hate when I think of sex, even consensual sex? I think the only way I could have sex at this point is if I self harmed the whole time. Is that wrong? God I just can’t stop crying. It’s been years and I’m still crying
That’s completely understandable! The first thing to do before you even consider starting sex, is make...
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5 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT HUMAN TRAFFICKING
floatintothemystic:
By Amanda Kloer, Special to CNN
Editor’s Note: Amanda Kloer is an editor with Change.org, where she organizes and promotes campaigns to end human trafficking. She has created numerous reports, documentaries and training materials on human trafficking in the United States and around the world.
Human trafficking might not be something we think about on a daily basis, but this...
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honeyonbeez asked: i think its so great that youve been able to use school to help you heal. I try to take classes when I can on subjects that relate to sexual assault/trauma and it does help me, too. However, it can also be the most triggering thing! Especially when people in my classes arent tactful during discussions. A classmate once tried to argue that PTSD isnt real and I freaked out! How do u deal with the...
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neikoish asked: Hello! I read how you have become something of an expert on your anorexia, agoraphobia, and PTSD, right? So I was wondering if learning as much as you can about these things has helped you with dealing with them in real life. Did it help you at all, or did you just get a better understanding of what you were going through?
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Sexual Assault Fact of the Day
theradicalidea:
This is for all of you who think that many allegations of rape are made up.
According to the FBI, only 2% of all reported rapes are false accusations.
According to RAINN, only 46% of rapes are ever reported to begin with.
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National Domestic Violence Registry →
I am a victim of domestic violence for many years. However, I have turned my terrible tragedies into a triumph. In my efforts to help put an end to domestic violence and its growing effect on so many individuals, I have become the Marketing Manager for the National Domestic Violence Registry….facebook link: https://www.facebook.com/NationalDVRegistry ….
This is a small but growing...
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I'm not a "true survivor." Oh, but you are!
luxuryailments:
i don’t feel as though i’ve survived enough abuse to actually qualify as a true survivor
like doing so would be an insult or injustice to real survivors - i don’t want to dilute the potency of such a status…? these words feel wrong but they’ll have to do for now
i feel as though my injuries were minor and negligible considering all the privileges i’ve been given (…by…my abuser...
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What's wrong with...
emotionalabuseawareness:
…strict parenting?
…permissive parenting?
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“Black and blue bruises
would hurt far less than your words.
I thought you...”
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Rape/ptsd/shame and sex - how to deal:
Anonymous asked: Hello :) I see your posts in my dashboard a lot and I have a question for you. I was also abused extensively as a child, although I am not as able to talk about it yet, and I also have an eating disorder, anxiety disorder, depression, and PTSD (all officially diagnosed; not self-diagnosis). If you are willing to answer…have you ever had consensual sex? How did you deal with...
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Why would someone cut?
[Mild TW for abuse/cutting] Most cutters are abuse victims, so many of the reasons involve abuse. Cince it’s so commonly is, I’ll address cutting and abuse as being related. It’s not only the brain’s programming (usually by abusers) to believe that pain is deserved, it’s the fact that once a person feels “punished,” they also feel safe.
In my experiences...
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How To Recognize and Combat Rape Culture
feministstudentunion:
Examples of rape culture:
Blaming the victim (“They asked for it!”)
Trivializing sexual assault (“Boys will be boys!”)
Sexually explicit jokes
Tolerance of sexual harassment
Inflating false sexual assault report statistics
Publicly scrutinizing a victim’s dress, mental state, motives, and history
Gratuitous gendered violence in movies and television
Defining...
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The hardest thing about being a cutter?
Once, I’ve cut, I can either:
NOT TELL: (in which case I’m a liar)
or
TELL: (which makes me an attention seeking faker)
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“My mom raped me.”
– (likes and reblogs taken as support)
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“Not being assaulted is not a privilege to be earned through the judicious...”
–
Emily Nagoski. (via rapeisnotajoke)
(via madeofglass)
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angry-veela asked: I just wanted to express how much I admire you for your compassion and strength to help others despite dealing with so many difficult problems yourself. Your blog does not only encourage and support survivors but it also helps people who never experienced the horrors you did develop a better understanding of the matter. You're a beautiful person with a kind heart and I hope you never forget...
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Statistics on Prostitution →
germanhoneybadger:
These are stats about prostitution in general, not child trafficking specifically, but still relevant and interesting. Bear in mind, stats on things considered “shameful,” by society are typically understated because people are less likely to admit to something “shameful,” on a survey.
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thecrowsroses-deactivated201305 asked: If everyone were as open-minded as me, there wouldn't be a need to worry about suicide. In fact, that word probably wouldn't exist. I wish that's how it was, but it's not. That alone depresses me. Once upon a time, I spent a year hating humanity because I thought literally no one gave a flying fuck. I know better now. Sometimes it's just hard to find that give-a-fuck...
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thecrowsroses-deactivated201305 asked: Wooow, I screwed up bad on that one little bit there. Anyway, how do I direct my support to those who are literally with no one to care about them?
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thecrowsroses-deactivated201305 asked: that would be fucking amazing. Also, side note - it's hardcore fucked up no one believed you as child. I know how much it doesn't mean NOW, but I had I met you - I'd of believed every word and done everything I could have possibly could to help you. And for some reason, I felt like telling you that. Even though it seriously doesn't help at all...
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airlings asked: I'm just wondering, and I hope this doesn't sound accusatory. But what stopped you from contacting someone, authorities I guess, to have your parents jailed/justice served or what have you? Also, (of course if you would prefer to talk about this I completely understand) how is your sister doing? Could you tell us about her?
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ofsavageryandeloquence asked: I don't want to trigger anything and if you don't want to talk about it, don't. But after reading (some) of your blog, I couldn't help but wonder what your parents are doing now. Are the continuing life as normal?
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if all men are rapists then all women are whores
“If all people cared more about the needs of the group THEY were a part of than the needs of the general public, we would all be as smallminded and cruel as you.”
~”Whore” ~ aka former child prostitute.
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“My deepest wishes
are granted not within me
but in helping you.”
– (via shishaw)
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Haiku: "Inside my Head"
“…pain!…pain!” Quiet voice, your perspective doesn’t count! “…but…but I’m hurting…”
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Song that perfectly describes agoraphobia →
formingwalls posted the lyrics to this song, and it made me cry. So here is a link for those who want to understand the life of a trapped human being.
Part of my experience as a child prositute involves fear of social interaction because I’m afraid my sex slavery background will cause me to act “different,” and get negative attention when I go out. Social phobia is common,...
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Rape survivors and BDSM?
My readers deserve to enjoy their sexuality to its fullest. Is BDSM wrong? No. Is is wrong for survivors? Not necessarily. We all must do what pleases us and benefits our own mental health and respect the rights of others to do the same.
masculinities-violence:
sexreeducated:
It is not consent if…
You did not expressly give consent.
You are afraid to say no/you say yes to avoid conflict.
...
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“Women are socialized to make men feel good. We’re socialized to “let you down...”
– The art of “no.” « CaptainAwkward.com
this this this this
(via dhunki)
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“Doctor, they are very proud, these nobles; but we common dogs are proud too,...”
– Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
I read this book while I was being abused and when I came across this quote I started to cry. Because these people, these traffickers, are very proud…but those of us whom they have trapped are proud too, sometimes. And they may plunder us, outrage us, beat...
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kitten-overlord asked: What do you do after you leave an abusive relationship? There are no kids and nothing to take care of.
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How to help your friend survive an eating...
thattheatergirl asked: is there anything that you should or should not do if one of your friends is recovering from an eating disorder?
Great question! If your friend is open about the eating disorder (for instance, if they bring it up and talk to you about it) your number one job is to keep them talking and be a good listener. Give supportive, neutral responses that focus on your friend’s...
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“It’s always great
to know you’ve destroyed someone
on your trip to...”
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Shit people say to survivors
fou-a-lier:
bite-my-glittery-ass:
TRIGGER WARNING -VICTIM BLAMING
Are you sure it happened?
I don’t think that really happened.
You’re exaggerating.
They just lost control, you should forgive them.
If you dressed differently, it wouldn’t have happened.
I don’t believe you.
You’re just saying that to get attention.
Why would you try to ruin their reputation like that?
They didn’t do...
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abomb10 asked: my former boyfriend has ruined sex for me i can’t see myself getting close to anyone now and i don’t know what to do
First, remember that there’s no pressure on you to do anything or be close to anyone. If you decide you want to be close to someone in a romantic way, go ahead and explain that you’re not sure how you will feel about having sex. Many partners won’t...
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bite-my-glittery-arse asked: Do you have any advice for surviving sexual abuse and wanting to have sex without breaking down?
First of all, makes sure you want to have sex. Everyone expects you to want it and at specific times, but that doesn’t mean you do. If you don’t, then don’t pressure yourself - the desire will typically return naturally as you deal with your trauma.
If...