May 2012
227 posts
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We’re talking about whether or not I survive, not if I’m okay.
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Recent flashback: my mom's hand in the abuse
[Trigger: rape, incest] I had a flashback recently that really disturbs me. The more I learn about my mom’s involvement with this abuse, the more afraid of her insanity I become. I was 14. I remember my father having just violently anally raped me, then forcing me to lay in his arms while he took a nap. Normally, I would have used this time to try to silently cry without waking him up and...
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Grizzly past is set against potential ruin. Life is so scary.
April 2012
175 posts
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Someone please tell me how this is relevant?
sailorsknot-sailorsmouth:
I was in church today, being the undercover atheist I am, just doing my job providing the music, and I hear the pastor start to say this: You women need to watch how you dress. When you wear provocative things that plants bad ideas into men’s minds and since they can’t go after you, they go after easier targets, like children.
Did the fucking pastor really just try to...
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“Let’s get rid of Infirmary Feminism, with its bedlam of bellyachers, anorexics,...”
– ACTUALLY, feminism is defined as the belief that men and women should have the same rights. No more, no less. Period. Most men are actually feminists if you know the definition of the word. And to say, “anorexics and rape victims don’t really count as feminists”? That’s like...
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What life could have been: "How to Feel Great... →
sexymaude69:
This is a current advertisement on the cover of cosmopolitan. Right underneath “how to feel great naked” the cover reveals that you must loose weight to feel great naked. FUCK THAT. I feel amazing just the way I am, and I’m so fucking sick of how western society tells women that the only way to be beautiful is to be skinny.The power media has over women in this country is...
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“Ever notice how anorexia is much more common in females, and how girls look less...”
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How to fight the pain when the pain’s a part of you? Kill yourself and it?
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My deep loneliness is quelled for just a moment but it comes back, hard.
“Men can be abused, too. It still counts and it happens every day.”
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One Light of Hope: Dealing With Flashbacks →
1.Sit up straight with your feet flat on the floor. Inhale through your nose, count to ten, and exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat five times.
2.Find a safe place to be with your feelings.
3.Talk about what you are experiencing with someone who is really listening and is not afraid to ask questions.
4.Remind yourself that you are safe. Tell yourself that you are remembering what...
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“This problem [of human trafficking] is worldwide and it’s growing right under...”
– Phil Cenedella, founder and director of The National Association of Human Trafficking Victim Advocates
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How to identify an abuser:
The following traits have all been linked to abusive personality types. Because of some cultural differences, some of these may be more gender-specific than others, but most work for either gender of abuser. One or two of these traits doesn’t always mean that someone is an abuser, but if you see a pattern, take note of it. Watch out for a person who:
Reports being abused as a child...
browneyednerd asked: You mentioned you and your mom email sometimes. Is that awkward? What do you talk about?
airlings asked: I'm just wondering, how did you get out of the situation with your parents? Did someone intervene, or how did you end up getting help? Much love and support, I hope you're having a better day than most
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“I know I’m supposed to like myself, think I’m attractive and smart...”
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You learned the hard way...
sarahlynne:
to shut your mouth and smile
Now you’ve gotta work even harder to learn to open your eyes and cry.
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“But it’s all about learning how to look up when life is trying to hold you down...”
– (via halfbeauty-halfbattle)
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“You gotta un-learn the broad social ideologies that make you obedient to the...”
– ~via http://pregnant-teen-mom.tumblr.com/
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Too fat AND too thin...
Having one of those wonderful days where I feel like total crap about myself and how I look. The anorexic side of my brain keeps telling me I’m disgustingly fat, and the healthy side of my brain feels awful about how bony and icky I look. Now both sides of me are miserable for different reasons… Anyone else ever feel this way?
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“The word “betrayal,”
when describing your actions
falls so short,...”
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““Except you can’t show a topless woman on TV - and you can’t defibrillate a...”
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Defining "virginity," →
[TW: Rape]
I’m sorry if this question seems out of line in any way, or offends anyone but……
If a person who was a virgin got raped, would this count as losing her/his virginity? I always said it would not, but recently I found out there are a large chunk of people that do. Personally, I don’t think being raped would make you “not a virgin” because I always thought of losing your virginity as...
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How Not To Be An Asshole: A Guide For Men →
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I DON'T forgive. And I won't.
daydreamerh:
Forever Battling with the past, they say its easy to forgive but hard to forget… but surley if you cant forget you havent really forgave???
Some things you will never forget. And forcing yourself to believe you have forgiven sometimes means pretending your pain doesn’t matter or you deserved it. There are different ways to be healthy and free, depending on what you’ve...
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AMAZING ARTICLE - HUMAN TRAFFICKING →
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My mom fed me poison. On purpose.
This is a strange-sounding case of something that happens to many little girls and boys on a daily basis. I believe it’s the real root of my anorexia. It’s very shameful to talk about, in some ways even more shameful than the rapes I’ve posted on, though I’m not sure why. But I think it’s time for me to talk about it now. Factitious Disorder by Proxy...
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In about 15 minutes I’m going to post something that scares the shit out of me. Something I’ve never told anyone but my boyfriend. I’m terrified of judgement, or being thought of as a liar or exaggerator and of being blamed or having people think I deserved it. But you are my followers and you deserve the truth, so the post stays in my queue. This process is so fucking...
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Emotionally crushed today, like vase ground into a fine powder.
Finally starting to kill the last of the hope inside me….the illogical, unhelpful hope to have loving parents. I hadn’t previously realized how much this desire to have a loving mom and dad had been my reason to live. For years, I kept thinking somehow I’d be better, realize something new, they’d change…...
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Sometimes, late at night, I feel hopeless and lost. Sometimes, maybe you do, too.
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Relapsing is just a part of recovery.
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I don't know the difference between full and...
same here… I don’t think I ever understood it in the first place.
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I can't "recover"
Here’s a brain-twister for you - if recovering means “getting something back,” or becoming healthy again, then doesn’t that mean the term can’t apply to me? I can’t recover happiness or health I was never allowed to experience in the first place. I can’t go back and be the person I would have been before I was abused from infancy. There is no...
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Victim Blaming →
atheism-anarchy-awesome:
Yesterday, in my Legal Psychology class, the professor posed a scenario for the students to reflect upon.
In the scenario, there is a woman who is married to a man who works at night. When her husband leaves for work, she gets on a bus to see her boyfriend. One night, she is about to leave the boyfriend’s home when she realizes she does not have enough money for the...
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Hating on the suicidal? No, I don't think so. →
crackasmileindenial: Listen here your pathetic and petty so called problems mean nothing you dont seem to understand theres a whole world out there fill with s many other people with more stuff than you so take the time to think and reflect and be thankful to be here that gods given you life in the last month I have lost 2 friends they should still be here and its so unfair it wasnt there time to...
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jeantarrou:
I find that the go-to “Don’t commit suicide” comment always tends to be “People love you.” or “People would miss you.”
Why do we always have to stick around for people.
What if we don’t want to stick around for us?
Or think about this one, guys - what if you don’t HAVE people? What if the reason you want to kill yourself is because you’re alone with a family like mine...
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I WANT TO DESTROY THE CONCEPT OF SELF ESTEEM.
Fuck a construct that is almost totally dependent on what you think other people think of you. Self-respect is way more important/valid but rarely used or talked about, because ~the academy~ hasn’t validated it yet.