June 2011
45 posts
8 tags
Watch
Please read.
This is jade. She’s gorgeous. She should have been able to live a normal life. But people hurt her more than she could bear, and if Jade’s friends and family were intending to reach out to her, I guess they waited too long. Jade killed herself 3 days after creating this video. She was reaching out for help, but no one answered. If you’re against bullying; reblog this. If you...
8 tags
May 2011
46 posts
I finally figured out where I am!
Limbo: “a place or state of oblivion to which persons or things are regarded as being relegated when cast aside, forgotten, past, or out of date” I’m in limbo. There’s no moving forward, there’s no moving back… there’s just pain. Pain and loneliness.
9 tags
9 tags
Little Lost Soul
Smoke rises from the collar of my brown leather jacket. Under and explosion of smoke, my shoes fill with snowy ash, which once was me. A clone, looking very much like me (save for a dull, haunted vacuum behind the eyes), retrieves the clothes and takes my place. She smiles like me. Laughs like me. Wears my perfume, tells my stories. And no one has ever mourned...
7 tags
Poem: Trying to Be
Treadmill, standing still. Going nowhere, never will. Racing hard to get ahead, falling, steps behind instead. Out of effort, out of time. Out of luck, I fall behind. I fall apart. I fall away. I close my eyes, embraced by gray.
11 tags
The feeling of a sinking stone which tumbles, plummeting alone towards darkness, pressure, depths unknown is carried in my chest. A pressure there, alerting me to dreams unlived will never be relieved. Reliving pain, unfree, I dream of finding rest.
More memories. Bad memories. Bad, unbearable unthinkable memories being relived at this very moment. I want to scream “HELP!” but no one can help me. I’m alone in hell. How can anyone be expected to survive this!? Where the fuck is god!?
blogoftheobservers-deactivated2 asked: That's a bit much, how did you manage to grow up without wanting to kill all of them?
How to tell if you're alive.
Check for a pulse. Got one? Your body is still alive.
How long has it been since something you learned changed your behavior? For example if you learned that the fastest moving lane during heavy traffic is the second to the right, and began driving in that lane. If you’re still doing that, your mind is still alive.
Do you regularly appreciate the things you are blessed with? Think how...
put a symbol in my ask,
♂= i am a boy who has a crush on you
♀= i am a girl who has a crush on you
✂= just delete your tumblr already
✌= you’re awesome
♡= i love your blog
❁= you’re beautiful
✓= i hate you
☹= you’re ugly
☀= i want to fuck you
♬= i wish we were close
♧= i wish we were friends in real life
☆= i relate to a lot of the same things you go through (mention which one!)
☮= you inspire...
blogoftheobservers-deactivated2 asked: why did you cut yourself?
Moving
Dan and I are pretty sure we’re moving away. I just don’t have enough resources here and things here are going… well no sense wasting people’s time on the details, they’re going very badly. It seems like any change at this point would be an improvement.
5 tags
Lyrics to my theme song.
The lyrics that make it most personal to me are in bold.
All around me are familiar faces Worn out places, worn out faces Bright and early for the daily races Going nowhere, going nowhere Their tears are filling up their glasses No expression, no expression Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow No tomorrow, no tomorrow And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad The dreams in which...
blogoftheobservers-deactivated2 asked: i just wanna say how much i appreciate your "sincerely; a person" note. It touches on the heart of the problem in multi-cultural society like Australia - where i'm living now. Most people are governed by their stereotype and are just wary towards one another. I myself suffer no less from preconceived notions and stereotype. But something is just so hardwired that it's hard...
4 tags
I was always told that what happened to me was my fault. Everyone made me feel like a freak for acting hurt (like sitting on my hands when I was too sore to sit down, or rocking back and forth by myself on the playground the night after a particularly brutal rape). They expected me to act unhurt and normal, and when I didn’t they wanted nothing to do with me.
Once, some people listened to...
“Just now,
out of the strange
still dusk… as strange, as still…
a...”
– “The Warning” by Adelaide Crapsey
6 tags
Empath: a day in the life
There are splinters in your fingertips and if they touch my skin, they rip through me, invisibly. I hide behind my grin.
Or there’s a cloud of choking acid, flowing from your embrace and I’m overwhelmed with sorrow which I must not let cross my face.
Or there are piercing, headache daggers shared, or ocean’s depth’s of sorrow, streaming, beaming from a crowd or friend,...
The test of courage comes when we are in the minority: The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority
5 tags
~Sincerely; a person.
I am a person. I am not what I look like or how I act. In fact, in some ways I’m the exact opposite of what you may think. I’m nice. I like the same music as you. If no one had ever told you anything about “people like me” we would be friends right now. But we never will be because people did and you believed them. ~Signed: The black guy, the lesbian, the boy in the leg...
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Bold what applies to you. →
* I am a girl. * I am shorter than 5’4. * I think I’m ugly. * I have many scars. * I tan easily. * I wish my hair was a different color. * I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color. * I have a tattoo. * I am self-conscious about my appearance. * I have/I’ve had braces. * I wear glasses. * I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. * I’ve been...
7 tags
To whom it may concern:
I hate. I HATE YOU. I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!!!! And you’re so fucking full of yourself and distracted by keeping yourself happy that you don’t even know what’s up with your own fucking family. You live in some fucked up fantasy that everything is easy and happy and whenever someone shatters that illusion, you’ll crush them to a powder and walk away...
30 tags
Hi, how are you? I'm SHITTY.
I never know how to explain to people how I’m doing. Today, for instance, I am better than yesterday. But if I say that, whoever I tell will assume it means I’m feeling normal, functional and fine, when it may just mean I’m in less danger of death than yesterday or that the potential injuries to myself today are likely to be smaller.
No one wants to hear you say you’re...
15 tags
Smiling Corpse
Shackles of gold bind just the same. The appearance of pleasantness won’t dull the pain. The smiles that face me expect me to be an upright example, to shine like the sea. But the watery depths within my chest lay hopes and dreams and joy to rest. I’m a smiling corpse with a secret to keep. I’m drowning, yet calm. Still waters run deep.
Christianity may have been built under the... →
Perhaps the God of the Hebrews is the same God that designed the plants we humans expand our minds with? You’ve believed things that sounded a lot less reasonable, humanity…