November 2011
102 posts
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“Some of our society’s myths support the idea that much of the blame belongs to...”
– My online class (via perfectlyimp3rf3ct)
October 2011
52 posts
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shaqqyreid:
Every person I know that has either attempted suicide or succeeded in ending their life was sexually assaulted. Some disgusting man or woman took what they were born with - innocence. Innocence is a liberty that no one should have the right to take away from me or anyone else, but obviously it is something that cannot be stopped. Is that a pattern, or am I just over-analyzing...
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Trail Of The Unknown Body: You're not a Feminist,... →
chainwanderingdeeply:
So I’m sorry, but it’s about that time where I have to be preachy for a minute. So there’s a guy who moved to Edmonton while I was living in Vancouver and became friends with some of my friends so when I moved back we met and he seemed like an okay dude. Was nothing but extremely kind to me. He… Strangely, my ex who was convicted of raping me and did so any number of...
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“Now I know I can survive anything. The only question is - can I stand to?”
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Being an oraphan is better than having a father...
Why does the man who adopted me still feel like my father? I remember him making me eat dog shit during rape, raping me with the leg of a chiar, prostituting me and gangraping me with countless men, including his own father and brother… but somehow I can’t stop thinking of him as a dad. I remember visiting him from college one summer, and after he had brought a man in to gangrape me...
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A child prostitute on reconciling with parents
I just watched yet another of those tv shows about parents reconciling with their children. In the show, the psychologist who was the ‘good guy’ told a woman to maintain contact with a cruel mother, while the horrible, two-faced, evil psychologist told the same woman to cut her mother from her life like a cancer. Neither knew anything about the woman’s relationship beyond a vague...
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Recovered Memories: The Science
For those who don’t understand how it’s possible to repress a memory to the point where you can’t remember it even when you try, let me cite the following study. A woman named Lynda Meyer Williams studied 120 children as they were brought into the emergency room for childhood sexual abuse. Each case was documented as abuse and Lynda spoke to the children personally. Most told her...
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Survivor Tip #4: Just Breathe
Here is a trick that’s been laboratory tested and proven to reduce blood pressure, lower heart rate and decrease stress. And the best part is, you can do it anywhere, anytime you need to calm down. Take a deep breathe, through only your nose. Breathe in slowly until your lungs are comfortably full. Then breathe out, but this time use only your mouth and not your nose. Make sure your lungs...
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Women don't just "cry rape".
Less than 2-5% of reported rapes are falsified. This is similar to the national average of falsified break-ins. If someone said their house was broken into, you wouldn’t wonder if they were just saying it to get attention or if they were trying to get back at the person they accused of breaking in. You wouldn’t say they wanted it because they bought such nice things and kept them in...
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A girl may be in a dangerous relationship if...
Before she met her boyfriend, she had more friends than she does now.
Her grades have declined in the past weeks of months.
Before she began dating him, she was more outgoing and involved with her family, school activities and/or place of worship.
She frequently cries or is sad.
If he texts or calls, she must call him back immediately.
He told her that he loved her early in the...
snuff box: safe sex is more than just latex →
snuffboxisdead:
If you answer yes to any of the following questions, you may be experiencing abuse: Do you feel pushed to have sex when you don’t want to? Do you ever have sex to “keep the peace?” Does your partner want sex after a fight when you don’t want it? Have you ever just laid there during sex…
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Homelessness and Domestic Violence
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 50% of homeless women and children in the United States are fleeing domestic violence. If you see someone who is homeless, don’t be so quick to judge. I had to flee my home, too. I had no family to go to or friends who I could stay with. If things had worked out just a little differently, I would have been on the street. I...
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Did you know
Up to 25% of college women report being the victim of acquaintance rape. 25% of male college students admitted committing acquaintance rape based on a broad definition and 10% admitted committing it based on a strict definition. ~Laura’s House Domestic Violence training materials
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Have YOU been raped?
Anonymous asked: I had a boyfriend who forced me into oral sex. I wasn’t performing it, he was… do you consider this sexual assault? Because I feel like it is and I don’t know.. please keep anonymous. YES! that is very much rape. The legal term would be “sexual assault” for any contact other than vaginal intercourse,...
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So someone you know was molested.
Here is a crash course on what to say and how to help.
You have three main concepts that you want to get across to the survivor.
It is not their fault
you believe their story
you know he/she is in horrible pain (but you still know you don’t understand how much it hurts)
The abuse victim will probably feel embarrassed and humiliated. Their mind will be telling them it is all their fault,...
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Knowledge is Power
My whole life I was treated as the problem by my family and everyone and I didn’t know why. I cut myself, I spoke too quietly, I never slept, rarely ate. People belittled me because I didn’t understand why I was “broken”. Now I remember. I remember being raped from ages 2-19. I remember being prostituted by my own father, and gangraped by my father, grandfather and uncle in...
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Fantastic video game for survivors!
If you have been abused, ever dealt with shame or guilt, and especially if you have ever recovered a memory - I give you Alice: the Madness Returns. This game deals with the topics delicately and broadly, but does address sex abuse, betrayal and recovering memories in a healing and open way that will leave you glad you played it. In the game, you play as alice, a girl who has to journey inside the...
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The scars that reside on your arm or anywhere on...
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I think I've never realized anything as horrific...
I just realized the bed my dad, uncle and grandfather gangraped me in was my grandmas deathbed. She had just died, slowly and painfully of luekemia in that bed, and I watched. I said goodbye to her for the last time there. Then only a couple of months later, all the men in my entire family were raping me until I bled there on that exact spot where I watched her die. I want to kill myself. I want...
jacqueline jane: Factsheets: PTSD and... →
jacquelinejane:
How does trauma affect relationships?
Trauma survivors with PTSD often experience problems in their intimate and family relationships or close friendships.
PTSD involves symptoms that interfere with trust, emotional closeness, communication, responsible assertiveness, and effective problem…
(trigger) What I recovered today.
These are specific moments of the abuse I just recalled through flashback. They are graphic but they are real and human trafficing happens everyday, even here in the us.
The first time my uncle Gerald, grandpa and dad all raped me at once was when I was in 7, after a family party. Everyone but the men went home and my dad had my mom take my sister out but said they’d be fine watching me.
...
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Dating Violence: Early Warning Signs
Many survivors, particularly those who have been abused in the past, are concerned about whether the person they are dating may be an abuser. This is some literature from my State Domestic Violence Certification that I thought my readers could use. Here are the early warning signs that someone is an abuser.
Extreme Jealousy. Signs of extreme jealousy include when your partner gets mad when you...
From One Survivor to Another: Reasons why having a... →
fromonesurvivortoanother:
[trigger warning: rape, sexual abuse]
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can and does happen years and even decades after the fact. A person may be able to shrug it off and be a functional member of society, but then a life event can trigger PTSD. In my own case, getting into my first sexual…
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(trigger) more memories.
I just had a memory of my dad raping me and making me give my uncle and grandfather handjobs at the same time. I was in second grade. I remember my uncle coming out to the shed to rape me like the badmen who paid evildad to use me. He would come out ask if I was relieved to see him because he didn’t physically hurt me during rape so much. I would say yes and he would explain how that meant...
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What it means to have an "evil family".
(possible trigger warning) The entire family I came from was so screwed up. My dad, grandpa, much older sister and two uncles all raped me. Many gangraped me. They prostituted me, and my mom told me that she was the one “sending” my dad in to rape me. She told me she had the power to make it happen any time. She knew about the prostitution. When I was in second grade, I told her about...
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Survivor Tip #3
Feelings are never wrong, and should never be treated as wrong.
Survivors, you must make this a rule! It’s a good rule for everyone, but especially in how a survivor treats themselves. Feelings are real, and need no justification. Let’s say my friend buys me a blue scarf. For some reason, the scarf makes me sad. I might say to myself “You idiot! What are you sad about!? It’s a gift! Calm down...
“Being forced to preform actions on evil people does not make YOU evil. The acts...”
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Another human trafficking victim!
Anonymous said: i’ve been trying to get up the nerve to contact you for over a week. i haven’t talked about this before but my uncle sold me to dozens of men when i was young. i feel so alone because i can’t talk about it with anyone. no one understands what it feels like so i keep everything inside.
Dear anonymous;
I chose to protect your identity but I want you others to be...
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Survivor Tip #2
If you have flashbacks or fear them, understand this:
Your mind knows what you are ready to handle. Trust it to tell you when you are ready.
No, you won’t have personal control over when and how the memories come up. They may not come up at a time that’s “convenient” to your plans. But your mind has a broader view of your life, and knows when the right time period to...
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Survivor Tip #1
I sometimes get messages asking for general tips or advice on how to cope with the effects of having been abused. My number one tip is this: Tell yourself the truth. Out loud.
It helps with most issues. If you are cutting yourself out of guilt and shame, tell yourself, out loud, “What happened wasn’t my fault.” If you are triggered in public and can’t calm down, go to the...
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There is so much death and destruction in my memories. So much. Child prostitutes see the sickest of humanity, the tortures people are willing to perpetrate on each other… One man tried to cut off my fingers with a circular saw during rape, because we kept one in the shed. And that’s the tip of the iceberg. How do I deal with this all alone all day, without any friends or family at...
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Questions about domestic violence?
Questions about sexual abuse, rape or domestic violence? Ask a former child prostitute with extensive abuse experiences and her degree in sociology! I’d be happy to discuss your problem or answer your sensitive question. I’m here to share my experiences and advice. =)
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stevezodiac2001 asked: Thank you for sharing your life in your Blog. I've appreciated your openness about a difficult topic. The thing I would like to ask is, "For you personally, has there been / is there anything good about sex? If so, what is it? I'd like to share this with someone I know who needs to hear your story
stevezodiac2001 asked: I've been reading your posts about incest and abuse. And your thoughts of suicide. I hope you're still there - I'd like to talk You;ve touched my heart and touched a nerve
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I am not alone in this hell!
An anonymous person wrote: My uncle sold me for sex to many many men over a period of years. I have been gangraped and raped with implements and dogs. I don’t think I can ever get over the things that happened to me. My response:
thank you, thank you for sharing that with me. I know I am not the only person who has been prostituted, but I never have the opportunity to speak with anyone who...
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