• It’s so slutty.
• You’re going to get an STD.
• You’re not really happy doing this.
• Promiscuity grosses me out.
• I’m just concerned for you.
• I’m happy with a different lifestyle. You need to be like me.
• It’s a sin, and it offends my religion.
• You aren’t respecting yourself.
• If I don’t watch my reaction to it carefully, I may selfishly blame you for trying to live a happy and fulfilling life.

psych-quotes:

Relationships aren’t all fun and games. Life happens and one of you will be bound to lose a loved one, have a sick family member, etc. Being a good partner means standing by through good times and bad. The good times are easy to handle. Here are some tips on how to be supportive through tough times:

1.      Listen. Let them know right away that you’re there for them if and when they want to talk. When that time comes, free yourself from distractions and really let them vent by listening and giving them your full attention.

2.      Acknowledge the situation. People often feel awkward or they don’t know what to say in times of crisis. Don’t pretend that nothing happened. Acknowledge the situation, say that you’re sorry for what they’re going through, or even admit that you don’t quite know what to say. Any of these are better than saying nothing.

3.      Offer distraction. When they’re ready you can be there to take them out for pizza, go to a movie or anything else to get their mind off of things.

4.      Offer to help. Can you help make any arrangements? Do any errands? Bring over takeout? Show that you care by offering to lighten their load.

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SURVIVORS:

Being angry means the following things about you:

• You are aware of what happened to you.
• You understand that what happened to you was wrong.
• You do not accept what happened to you.
• You hold the perpetrator(s) responsible for their actions.
• You recognize that you didn’t deserve the abuse.

Being angry does the following things to you:

• Helps you to escape the abuse.
• Helps you not to return to the abuse. 
• Keeps your body healthier by preventing somatoform symptoms like stomach aches, headaches and ulcers.
• Increases your self-esteem by helping you not to blame yourself.

Some facts about anger:

• It is included in the spectrum of normal human emotions and should always have a place in one’s mind.
• It can’t be erased, only expressed or repressed. 
• It rarely leads to bitterness. 
• It increases confidence and decreases feelings of fear. 
• It’s an important step to healing from trauma. 

Go ahead… get pissed!

THEM:

• “I’m being abused.”
  OR
• “I was abused.”

YOU:

1. “I believe you.”
2. “This matters a lot. I care.”
3. “It’s not your fault.” 

1. Why didn’t you just call the police?
2. What were you wearing/what part of town was it/why were you there?
3. God let that happen to you for a reason. Maybe you’ll help others.
4. Ew, gross. (Emphasis on the act being gross, rather than the perp)
5. Just try not to dwell on it so much.
6. That doesn’t really sound like rape/abuse.
7. I would never let that happen to me. I would just… leave/hit back/run away etc.
8. Justice will prevail. 
9. You’re suicidal? That’s so selfish! 
10. I understand.

?

For those of you who haven’t experienced a trigger… for me at least, it’s a little slice of hell. Actually reliving, seeing, tasting and experiencing being tortured and raped as a child prostitute because something caused a trigger. I spend most of my day avoiding these and while not all of these things trigger me all of the time, most usually do.

Here are just a few of the things that trigger me:

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